It is said that from the United Nation’s 10-year commitment to eradicate all narcotics by using law enforcement to target traffickers and producers to end drug use worldwide, to the United States’ efforts to do the same, any and all attempts have failed to put any drugs dealers out of business and failed to keep any drugs out of anyone’s hands.
With such an assessment one can only conclude that we must reverse course.
Despite efforts to teach generations that drugs are wrong we must embrace the use of narcotics that have dangerous personal and societal effects.
Our nation and world has invested too much time and money in a cause that instead of spending money on, we could actually be profiting from.
If our nation is willing to step up and shift gears, we could create a whole new private sector and expand government.
By increasing the size of the Food and Drug Administration, we can hire more bureaucrats to insure that newly legalized forms of crack cocaine and other narcotics are pure and safe and pack enough punch.
Then, as we do with liquor licenses, for a large fee, we can issue drug dealers, narcotic licenses. This is a must.
Like any good dealer, the federal government must get a cut. But being the bureaucratic boondoggle that government is, we will insure that we don’t just get a cut from dealers, we will also get a cut from users. A federal, per ounce, tax that far exceeds the federal tax on cigarettes shall be instituted. This excessive fee, or sin tax, will be designed to discourage using these once illegal drugs but it will not simply boost levels of federal income. The money raised through this narcotics sin tax will be needed to support the rehabilitation of those, who through the use of drugs, have become dangerous and useless to society.
The increased volume of drug use will create a need to address the growing problem of opioid related addictions. As such, the federal government is going to fund the Addiction Solution Service program.
A.S.S. will finance the creation of methadone clinics in every county of the United States. We will also finance the staffs and inventory that these facilities will require in order to operate effectively and efficiently.
Many communities do not like the idea of having methadone clinics in their midst because of the type of drug addicted element they attract. But sentiments that would deny a person access to detoxification and the chance to break their drug addiction will not be tolerated. If any community seeks to prevent an A.S.S. clinic, in their area, to serve the addicts in their county, then the federal government will use eminent domain policies to insure that such facilities are established.
The United States’ reversal on its drug policies, and our preparations to deal with the resulting influx of addiction, signifies a new era in American politics.
No longer will we distinguish right from wrong. Who are we, to make such determinations?
No longer will we waste time on uphill battles. Who are we, to put our energies into a cause for the well being of society?
We, as a nation, have finally come to understand the value of narcotics and with the failure of prohibition in our nation‘s past, we can understand that the same applies to drugs.
Liquor can be detrimental if consumed in excess, yet today, it is legal
So even though ANY level of consumption of narcotics can be detrimental, it too must be made legal. The fact that liquor, when drunk responsibility and in moderation has never been a problem, needs to be applied in regards to amphetamines, barbiturates, and drugs like crack and heroin.
If one can drink a mug of beer in a bar, why should they be denied the right to snort a line of coke or shoot up a shot of heroin in moderation in a bar?
So today a new dawn brightens America. Today the fog of our drug intolerance is lifted so that we can usher in the haze of a good doobie and stop distinguishing dangerous narcotics for recreational use from useful medicines for medical use. What were once underground, under-the counter drugs will now be on par with over the counter drugs. Today we make all drugs legal regardless of their potency, addictive qualities or dangerous side effects.
This move will not just make narcotics accessible to the masses, it will revolutionize the medical and pharmaceutical industries. With the legalization of drugs, no longer will doctor prescriptions be needed. So in addition to being a budget booster, drug legalization is a sound green policy that will spare countless trees which were previously chopped down to make the paper that such prescriptions were written on.
Yes, legalizing drugs will solve many problems.
It benefit’s the environment, it insures that drug dealers and cartels will regulate themselves and run their heretofore underground businesses in the open as they allow their product to be scrutinized and tested by the FDA. Their dealers will be licensed after taking mandatory government sponsored drug distribution courses. These licensing classes will insure that dealers provide respectful customer service and the proper instructions pertaining to how one uses the drug they purchase and how they store it.
Legalizing drugs will put an end to drug violence and smuggling. Cartels will willingly become corporations that pay their fair share of fees and corporate taxes, invest in 401k’s, and follow OSHA regulations for the safety of their employees.
But most of all, the legalization of narcotics will benefit society.
If things are not going your way, you will now be able to experience the joy and comfort of drugs.
Having a tough time making your car payment or those SAT exams have you stressed out? Smoke some crack.
Kids out of control and running you ragged? Sniff a line.
Stuck in traffic on your way home from work again? Shoot up.
From this point on, Americans of every walk of life will have the freedom to get away from it all.
We should have only done it sooner but a lesson learned later is better than a lesson never learned. That is why we are taking this revelation and applying it in other areas of government.
Combating terrorism is as expensive or even more expensive and difficult than combating illegal drugs. So here too we will not wage another uphill battle. America will embrace terrorists and we will cut our defense budget, stop detaining enemy combatants and simply increase our emergency services capabilities throughout the nation. This will allow us to cope with the ensuing results of an increased number of devastating terrorist acts.
Our willingness to reverse course on drugs has opened up a whole new approach for our government. This direction will forever more be known as the If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em Doctrine.
It is a doctrine that is economically encouraging and if applied correctly, it can revitalize America’s role in the world and the way the world view us. Instead of seeing us as belligerent defenders of freedom, they will come to realize that Americans are an easy going people who are willing to bend their policies and even their laws in order to suit’s the desires of everyone.