Tag Archives: comedy

Maneuvering Through Minnesota Politics

u4colfra

Bookmark and Share   Democrats are maneuvering their way to a filibuster proof majority in the U.S. Senate.

Despite ballot counting irregularities that are still being reviewed by the Minnesota courts, liberal Democrat Al Franken maintains a slim plurality of votes over moderate Republican incumbent Senator Norm Coleman.

The process that afforded Franken this lead is quite questionable and it is why the results continue to be reviewed by the courts.

Although initial returns had Coleman leading Franken, many of the votes which turned things around were found days after the election and some of them were even counted twice.

In one case involving a heavily democratic precinct, 100 votes were discovered days after the election. They were all for Al Franken and according to the time stamp of the voting machine, they were all cast on November 3rd.

The election was held on November 4th.

Most recently, attorneys for Senator Norm Coleman were trying to insure that a few thousand contested ballots were allowed to be included in the vote tally.

For innocuous reasons these ballots were not included in subsequent counts. One blind man who signed his name on the wrong line appeared in court and swore to the fact that he did sign the ballot, that he voted for Norm Coleman and that he wanted his vote to be counted.

Just a few days ago, a three judge panel finally rejected the thought of counting these ballots.

But Coleman’s attorneys have also been arguing the fact that the recount process must accept one set of standards for the entire state. One disturbing part of the recount process has been the fact that less stringent standards were being applied to the counting of ballots in heavily Democratic districts than in Republican districts. Such a random application of standards allowed the same absentee ballot that had a signature in the wrong place to be counted for Franken but not for Coleman. It is a similar argument that was debated during the presidential election crisis of 2000.

All of these irregularities warrant legal scrutiny. It provides a rationale for Senator Coleman to continue contesting the election and taking advantage of every available avenue of legal recourse.

That means he can appeal some of the more questionable decisions regarding ballot counting procedures and irregularities to the Minnesota State Supreme Court and ultimately the United States Supreme Court.

According to Minnesota state law, no election can be certified until all legal challenges have been exhausted. That means Minnesota is left with only one senator representing them at this point in time. It also means that it could be a few more months before they finally have two senators.

But Democrats are foaming at the mouth to seat Al Franken now.

Their leader, Harry Reid, even thought about how he could find a way to seat Franken without certification by the state of Minnesota.

Now, they are trying to intimidate Senator Coleman into dropping his right to appeal some of the questionable judicial rulings made in this case.

They have come out and essentially told Norm Coleman that if he wins, they will make sure that he suffers. They are trying to convince him that he will be better off losing than winning.

Democrats are planning to drag Coleman through the mud if the election results do not go their way. They promise to bring legal and ethics charges against him. In one instance, since the election has taken place, they claim that a businessman with ties to the oil industry funneled $75,000 to Coleman’s wife.

Last month, Democrat campaign operatives even recruited a politically connected, liberal, former associate of that same businessman to repeat that same allegation in a separate civil court deposition.

On top of that, the partisan Minnesota Democratic-Farm-Labor Party has joined the battle against Coleman by filing charges with the Federal Election Commission claiming that he accepted soft money for his campaign.

But the liberal manipulation doesn’t stop there.

Another liberal front group, that hides their purpose behind a deceiving name, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, has filed charges with the senate ethics committee, claiming that Coleman breaks ethical guidelines by renting an apartment in Washington for $600. a month from a fellow Minnesotan who is a donor to his campaign.

Since the election, Coleman has become the most corrupt political figure in the world.

Since the election, Democrat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has orchestrated a new campaign that would have you believe that Norm Coleman belongs in the same prison cell as New Jersey’s ex governor Jim McGreevey, New York’s ex governor Elliot Spitzer and Illinois’ former Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Some Democrat operatives have come right out and said that Coleman would be better off if he gave up and got out.

This is not democracy in action, this is an episode of the Soprano’s without a scene of the body being cut up in the back room of Satriales butcher shop. It is intimidation.

It is also a part of politics and a shame.

However, innocence has a way of revealing itself, and the trumped up charges created to deter Norm Coleman from contesting the questionable election results will eventually be seen for what they are. Hopefully, Norm Coleman will see this through to the end.

Hopefully, Coleman will continue to challenge the rulings which denied thousands of ballots to be counted.

But if he doesn’t or if he does and the final results do certify comedian Al Franken as the winner, what will Minnesotans be getting?

Apparently they will be getting a liberal extremist with a host of his own ethical breaches and illegal conduct. You see, Obama cabinet officials are not the only ones with an inability and unwillingness to pay taxes. Al Franken failed to pay some of his own.

Before his senate campaign, he neglected to pay the fees on workers compensation and other taxes for employees of his own corporation, called AFI, in 18 different states. But as we all know, cheating on your taxes is becoming a prerequisite for the new administration and the new congressional majority.

Losing the moderate leadership of Norm Coleman in the U.S. Senate would be a shame. Especially to the likes of a radical like Franken. It would also be incentive for Minnesota liberals to continue their despicable political tactics.

These are the same people who tried to defeat Norm Coleman in his first race for the senate by turning the funeral of his opponent into a campaign rally.

These people will sink to any level in their plight for power and they are doing so again. Hopefully their conduct will not be rewarded.

Bookmark and Share

kempiteu4prezlogo1

1 Comment

Filed under politics

POLITICS AND DINNER DON’T GO TOGETHER

I have to apologize here from the get go. The other night my partner Nick, and I went out to a local diner for a quick bite to eat. We were seated at a booth in between a group of four behind me and a group of three senior citizens behind Nick. While perusing the menu my ears caught the phrase “I don’t like Obama”. It came from one of the ladies in the group sitting behind Nick .

Being preoccupied by politics, certain buzz words like election, President, McCain, or Obama, catch my attention even when I am not paying attention.

So this older woman’s utterance of the word “Obama” lit up my on my radar screen. Even though it may have been impolite to pay attention to a conversation not involving me, I couldn’t help myself.

So I apologize for any impolite eavesdropping, that I may be guilty of. It wasn’t my intent but I’m a political junkie, and as such, this election season is for me what Christmas is to a wide eyed, little boy.  It’s like the Super Bowl to football fans and I am just in tune to any references to politics. Besides, to put it nicely, this woman was not using her inside voice. So curiosity got the best of me and I paid attention to the political opinion that was unfolding.

The woman went on to say “I don’t like Obama but he’s got my vote”. The woman explained further “those Republicans are only for the rich and big business”

At this point the waitress came over to take the orders of Nick and I. Being distracted, I let my partner order first and I than quickly determined what I wanted. With my attention taken off of the conversation that I was not a part of, Nick and I started our own banter.

When the waitress returned with our drink orders, both Nick and myself happened to hear that same woman I overheard earlier say “and that “McCann”, “he just wants to give tax breaks to big companies”. At this point I had just begun to take a sip of my Pepsi with lemon and no ice when she continued “and who are those big businesses to make as much money as they do. They shouldn’t be allowed to make that much money in the first place”.

Upon hearing that , I gagged on my soda. Having caught that remark from right behind him, Nick knew what the cause of my discomfort was.

We were about to eat and after having heard what I just heard, I could not allow myself to pay any further attention and still be able to stomach the meal I was about to eat.

Nick knew my blood pressure was rising and quickly tried to establish our own conversation and provide a diversion from that which had me fuming. Our food came and we discussed the details of the event we were heading out to DJ.

Through it all, I could not help but allow the words of that woman to echo in my head. I couldn’t stop wondering if she actually knew what she said. Did she really believe, that in America, people should only be allowed to make a certain amount of money? Did she actually believe Democrat talking points and accept them as the truth?

I thought to myself, how little this woman really knew and how misinformed she was. Yet, despite her lack of understanding , awareness and information, she threw her words out with total conclusiveness and decisiveness. This is a woman who referred to John McCain as “John McCann”. She didn’t even know his name yet she acted like a brilliant sage who proclaimed Republicans are only for the rich and that businesses should only be allowed to make a certain amount of money.

What this woman neglected to realize was that Republicans and “John McCann” do not believe in penalizing success. They do not support limiting opportunity or making our government some type of communist politburo that does everything from control your wages to determining what, how and where your children are educated. She didn’t understand that Republicans were not for the rich or sponsors of class warfare but that they didn’t believe in penalizing success or taxation that goes so far that it taxes the dead and buried. This bitter, jealous woman could not wrap her head around the fact that “John McCann” is not trying to keep her down but that he is trying to prevent government from holding her back.

All these thoughts raced through my mind as Nick and I ate and as I tried to focus on our own discussion.

We chatted away and finished up our meal but in the back of my head I could not stop thinking about how gullible this woman was. She actually believed in the liberal bumper sticker slogans and campaign catch phrases that promoted liberal socialist policies in brightly colored wrapping paper and big ribbons and bows. She admitted that she didn’t even like Barack Obama. Yet because he was a Democrat and since they were against the rich, she was for them.

Beyond angering me, it worried me. I worried about how many more people in America held her thinking and how many despised the free market that comes with our democracy? How many Americans were actually supporting socialism and wanted to adopt it as our way of life?

With our meal finished, I got up before Nick to find our waitress. I put on my McCain-Palin jacket, prominently, found the waitress and asked her for not only my check but for the check of the people at the table behind Nick. I told her that I wanted to pay for it. The waitress was taken back for a moment and said “Oh, Ok, here ya go”. After paying and getting my change, I asked if she could give me a blank dinner check to write a message on and that she could give to the customers I paid for. She handed one to me and I wrote:

 

“Dear Fellow Americans;
I paid your check.
I did so because this is still America and in it I can still make as much as my ambition, skill, and willingness to make allows. In it I am also still allowed to keep enough of it so that I can spend as much of it as I want and on what I want. If Barack Obama is elected he will determine all that for me. So enjoy my generosity while you can because if you get your way, we will all be losing our own ways.

P.S.: John McCain is the man trying to preserve democracy. Tom McCann is the company you buy your shoes from.”

Upon leaving the diner with Nick, and after paying for more meals than I expected, just to make a point, I realized that just like the government should do, I too should mind my own business.
Photobucket
POLITICS 24/7 AUTHOR BOOKED ON TALK RADIO

After reading POLITICS 24/7‘s post on Keith Olbermann, conservative talk show host Tim Conway, Jr., has booked it’s author, Anthony Del Pellegrino on it’s show Thursday, October 23rd at 9:15 pm (pst).

For east coasters thats 12:15 am, which technically makes it Friday, October 24th for us.

But regardless, east coast, west coast and everyone in between, I hope you call in with your two cents. 

In fact, if you are a conservative put a bucks worth in.

I hope to hear from you. 

 

 

 

Nights in Southern California are always brighter with Tim Conway Jr. weeknights from 8PM – 11PM.

Conway is in his 11th year at 97.1, treating Los Angeles to a wide variety of topics ranging from ‘LIVE’ Police Chases to the ‘World of Entertainment.’ With Tim’s amazing sense of humor (that he obviously acquired from his mother’s side), listeners know that they’ll always learn something and smile at the same time!

Tim Conway Jr. was born and raised in Southern California; living in the San Fernando Valley. He attended Portola Junior High in Tarzana and finished his education in Van Nuys graduating in 1981 from Birmingham High. His down-to-earth humor brings a sense of refreshing levity to all of us surrounded by lunatics in Southern California.

The Tim Conway Jr. Show is designed ot help Southern California wind down after a hellish day avoiding bullets on the local freeways. Conway hosts the longest running radio game show ever Thursday night at 8PM, “What the Hell Did Jesse Jackson Say?” Conway also features the David Letterman “Top 10 List,” an exclusive audio recap of one of TV’s hottest benchmarks.

The Tim Conway Jr. Show…the new and improved comedy talk show in town and the only place ot find out what’s going on in this crazy city of ours! Weeknights from 8PM to 11PM…only on 97.1 the FM Talk Station

punchline politics

  A Quickie 

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, “Honey, can I have a quickie?”

The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women’s rights and storms away.

Cheney then says to Bush, “George, its pronounced ‘quiche’.”

Photobucket

5 Comments

Filed under politics

An Open Letter To Keith Olbermann and NBC.

Failed Sportscaster, and Demoted Newsman Keith Olbermann, The New Tokyo Rose

Dear Depraved, Liar;
I happened to see your low rated program “Countdown with Keith Olbermann”. I would have turned you off like most Americans do but I was curious. I wondered if you were as big a schmuck as I have been told you were. Like passing a car wreck on the Garden State Parkway, I just had to look and see if it was possible for a news station to be as irresponsible as I have been told NBC is.

 Not only did I find that it was possible, I was stunned by the outright lies and offensiveness of the so called program you attempted to get through, . For almost thirty minutes you polluted the air with disgusting innuendos, blatant lies, and the greatest amount of disinformation ever transmitted since Tokyo Rose tried to discourage American troops from carrying out their valiant missions to defend democracy. For me, you were even more offensive than Tokyo Rose. She was not an American. She was not operating under any rules of decency or fairness. You however, are suppose to be, and yet, you flout those qualities as if they were Sunday comic strips.

 You conduct yourself in a way that strips any sense of integrity or decency away from NBC. It is no wonder why they have placed you on their sagging cable news outlet, MSNBC. It would also explain why MSNBC is so low in the ratings.

 What I do wonder about is how they can possibly keep putting you on any air?

 You failed at your job as a sportscaster, and somehow got utilized by NBC for delivering the news. Since then you have proved incompetent and along with your sidekick, Chris Mathews, got booted from that job and now you are left only with your appearance in a goofball, commentary segment.

 After seeing your performance, I have concluded that you must be offering sexual favors to some important troll at NBC. It is the only apparent reason that anyone could possibly have for employing you.

 On your program you lied exactly 13 times about John McCain and  9 times about Sarah Palin, the only two people that your show discussed.   Additionally, you called them racists and liars.  In the past you have even accused John McCain of treason and through it all you never once made a reference to any facts.

 Your despicable conduct, irrational behavior, prejudiced judgment and skewed logic has no place in an intelligent society.

Beyond that, the blatant hatred that you conveyed in your fairy tales, during this program, carried over. They conjured up the same sense of hatred for you that you aired for those who are not liberals, So much so that I must relay my own wishes for you.

 After witnessing your despicable program, it is my deepest hope that you are blown out of your ivory tower and have your legs and arms broken as you fall to the earth where a group of wild thugs spit on you while punching and kicking you. Then, with almost every bone in your body broken, I sincerely hope they throw you into a New York City sewer for 5 years, where you are fed a piece of bread a day and left to drink the raw sewerage that flows around you. And through it all, I want NBC to repeatedly report, day after day, that for your efforts, you are being accused of turning your back on any and all sense of journalistic integrity and for treason to the United States.

 You should be forced to endure the same conditions that the man you ridicule, belittle and lie about, endured during his service for and to our country.

But you, Mr. Olbermann, are not alone in the need for public denunciation. The corporate goons who afford you the opportunity to play the role of a modern day Tokyo Rose should pay even more dearly.

The dwindling ratings of NBC, due to mediocre programming, has been forcing them to scramble for survival for more than two years. Their hopes for MSNBC to help alleviate the suffering of it’s parent company has failed. MSNBC loses out to all other competitors and now they are having trouble selling air time to advertisers. Circumstances such as this are not only expected, but their irresponsible conduct in airing people, such as yourself, makes these results well deserved.

 

NBC is allowing you to fan the flames of hatred. They are allowing you to exploit a polarized electorate by polarizing them even more. NBC is allowing you to plant the seeds of anger during one of our nations most important moments, a national election. IT is a time when we must all be responsible in determining the direction we will head in and yet NBC uses it as an opportunity to breed anger.

 

Mr. Olbermann, I write these things not in an attempt for ratings or the undeserved, lucrative paycheck that you receive, I write this to you because your behavior can not be ignored and because it should not be kept the great secret that your low ratings allow it to be. I write this because responsible people should take it upon themselves to denounce such conduct and demand that it not be rewarded. I also write this to let you know that through your lies, false accusations and deceit, your hateful objectives have achieved their goal. They have created anger, but that anger is not aimed at the targets you hoped. It is directed towards you.
 
 
 

 Photobucket

 

GOVERNMENT EMPLOYMENT

 

 

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position, and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning division and hired two (2) people, one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a quality control (QC) division and hired two (2) people, one (GS-9) to do the studies and one (GS-11) to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created a payroll division with a time keeper (GS-9) and a payroll officer (GS-11), and hired two (2) people.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative division and hired three (3) people: an Admin Officer (GM-13), Assistant Admin Officer (GS-13), and a Legal Secretary (GS-8).

Then, one year later, Congress reviewed the operation of the desert scrap yard and said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget. We must cut back overall costs!” So they eliminated the night watchman

Photobucket

Photobucket

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under politics

BARACK CARTER and JIMMY OBAMA

In 1976 Georgia Governor Jimmy Carter campaigned for President by preaching “change” and urging Americans to “clean out Washington”. The peanut farmer turned one term southern governor, eked out a relatively close victory. After Watergate, Americans fell for the freshness of Carter’s appearance on the national stage. Some even liked the fact that he spoke about his evangelical Christian faith and even more believed in his mantra for change.

Well they got that change. It came in the form of one of the most dismal economic times in our nation’s history since the Great Depression. It was the type of change that brought about double digit inflation and unemployment rates, out of control interest rates, long lines for gas, higher taxes, stagflation and even a new economic index….the misery index. The change he brought us was what Carter himself called “a national malaise”.

Change also came in foreign affairs. Here, America’s standing in the world was reduced to one of empty words, no influence and utter humiliation.

In Carter’s pursuit of human rights, he supported overthrowing the Shah of Iran who was friendly to the United States. That led to the Shah being overthrown and replaced with the Islamic theocracy that is still our enemy today. It also resulted in their taking over of the American embassy and humiliating the United States by holding American citizens hostage.

When Soviet backed revolutionaries killed Adolph Dubbs, our Ambassador to Afghanistan, and began the march to invade Afghanistan, Carter was powerless and reduced to being a mere spectator.

Carter’s friendly, pearly white smile projected sincerity and confidence. He was seen as the change we needed, a change for the sake of change. What we got was a nation that needed it’s economy rebuilt, our military rebuilt and a direction in foreign affairs that stood up to our enemies and allowed the United States to change the events in the world rather than be changed by the events. A direction that allowed us to shape history rather than be sidelined as a witness to history.

Carter believed that we needed to give our enemies a chance to vaildate their conduct and the opportunity to negotiate acceptance of their unacceptable actions. He tried to negotiate the release of our citizens by Iranian Islamic radicals who had no reason or willingness to negotiate their release and give up their ability to humiliate America. It was a humiliation that we endured until the very moment that Ronald Reagan was sworn in as the new American President. It was only then that the Iranians suddenly feared military reprisal from the new Commander and Chief.

Jimmy Carter came out of nowhere and stepped on to the national stage. The novelty of his newness and his attempts to be everything that everyone wanted won him the Democratic nomination and eventually the White House. It was a victory that took decades for us to overcome and in many ways it’s negative effects have helped blossom into some of the major international conflicts that we face today.

Enter Barack Obama, a community activists turned state senator and junior United States Senator from Illinois. His newness is refreshing to many and he is campaigning on “change”.

Much like Carter, Obama’s sense of change in the economy is rooted in Carter’s philosophy of raising taxes on some and redistributing it to others. It is a policy that leads to a reinventing of the misery index, higher unemployment and an unraveling of the economy that goes well beyond Wall Street and directly to the kitchen tables of every American family.

Obama preaches the virtues of reaching negotiated agreements with our enemies. He has called for unconditional talks with our enemies and discounts the fact that we should not negotiate intolerable conduct and that which is unacceptable. Like Carter he, promotes a tolerance for the behavior of others even though their behavior is akin to poking a finger in our eye.

I would suggest that our enemies must be compelled to stop poking us in the eye before we look them in the eye and negotiate any agreed upon deals. But Obama and Carter want to reward bad behavior.
They may be different people but they have the same mind when it comes to policy.

Perhaps one of the greatest similarities between Carter and Obama comes in the form of their own words. In July of 1979: Carter said:

“I ask Congress to give me authority for mandatory conservation and for standby gasoline rationing. . . . And I’m asking you for your good and for your Nation’s security to take no unnecessary trips, to use carpools or public transportation whenever you can, to park your car one extra day per week, to obey the speed limit, and to set your thermostats to save fuel. Every act of energy conservation like this is more than just common sense — I tell you it is an act of patriotism.”

In May of this year, Obama said:

“We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times . . . and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.”

There is nothing wrong with conservation. It is something that even in the best of times we should all employ. However, Obama and Carter’s use of conservation in addressing problems neglected to point out that there are things that government can do to keep up with the needs of it’s people. Both remarks are a strange twist on J.F.K.’s call to “ask not what your country can do for you but what you could do for your country”. It is their way of saying….. ask not what your elected officials should do for America, but what you have to do because your elected officials refuse to do what is right.

Rather than allow government to lift it’s bans on access to natural resources, they tell us to fill our tires with more air and drive less. Rather than trying to solve our problems, Carter and Obama tell us to just deal with the problems that they are a part of.

On foreign affairs, instead of telling our enemies that certain conduct must cease before we negotiate any agreement, they suggest that we will negotiate an acceptance of their reprehensible behavior.

These are roads that we have been down before. Both men are partisan liberals with instinctual liberal tendencies. Both men ran for President at time when they had little experience and no substantial records of accomplishment. Carter was the fresh face that would be the agent of change that we needed and now Barack Obama is the messiah that will be the new agent of change that we need. It sounds good, but history repeats itself and the nice sound of change that Obama offers is an echo of the same change that Jimmy Carter offered us. It’s the type of change that America can not afford and it is the type of change that voters can help prevent our nation from repeating only if we understand the similarities between Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama.

Clinton & Pearly Gates

When Bill Clinton was put under during his heart surgery he saw himself at the at the Pearly Gates.

After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter.
“It’s me, Bill Clinton.”
“And what do you want?” asked St. Peter.
“Lemme in!” replied Clinton.

“Soooo,” pondered Peter.

“What bad things did you do on earth?”

Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. I guess I had extra-marital sex — but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t really have ‘sexual relations.’ And I lied, but I didn’t commit perjury.”

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, “OK, here’s the deal. We’ll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won’t call it ‘Hell.’ You’ll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won’t call it ‘eternity.’ And don’t abandon all hope upon entering, just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.”

Leave a comment

Filed under politics