Our nation’s government has literally come to that point.
With a federal mentality that seeks to tax everything from the birth of your child to the amount of money that you leave behind in death, the federal government through the auspices of the Environmental Protection Agency is now considering a tax on cow and pig farts. The liberal point behind this tariff is to control the release of methane gas which alters atmospheric temperatures by keeping the atmosphere warmer.
As the largest producer of methane, livestock are being targeted by the EPA as they explore and propose the imposition of a $175 a year tax on every head of dairy cattle, $80 a head on beef cattle and $20 per head on pigs.
Penalizing pigs and cows for tax evasion if they don’t pay their way might be a difficult task so in its infinite wisdom the government would charge these taxes to their owners. Now if Porky is your pet pig, twenty bucks may not seem like a lot, but if you are a pig farmer you have a lot more than one pig in your possession. Many pigs farms number 4500 or more pigs at a time. Now charge them $20.00 a head for participating in the industry and you have one hefty new price tag that they must pass on to consumers. Many of these farmers will not be able to compete and many will ultimately shut down forcing the price of pork up even more.
Take a state like Illinois. From Henry on the north to Pike on the south there were approximately 7,500 hog farms feeding Americans. And that is just Illinois. What about the other 49 states? This new tax will not only take back the stimulus money provided to pig farmers in President Obama’ stimulus package, it will take all the profits out of their business altogether.
But its not just pigs. The same applies to cows.
Now, I am not so callous that I suggest we not give a damn about our environment. I have no problem with throwing the right garbage in the right recycling bin but to suggest that greenhouse gas emissions must be regulated to the point of taxing farts is the ultimate in environmental extremism.
And what exactly will all the proceeds from this new tax do for curtailing greenhouse emissions? Unless it is meant to kill the cattle, milk and pork industries, I do not see what the EPA will invest this money into in order to save the environment from profuse farting. Do they intend to purchase butt plugs for pigs and cows? Congressman Sensenbrenner suggests that maybe they intend to invent a catalytic converter to strap on to Elsie the Cow?
I also can’t help but wonder how far this can go.
We all know that when the government creates a tax they never repeal it and they often increase and expand it. So how far will they go if this fart tax passes? Will it not be expanded to human beings? I know a lot of people who are filled with a lot more than hot air and a per fart price tag on them alone would reduce the deficit by millions. So how much money do you think the federal government can make by taxing all humans for their own gassy anal emissions?
So I propose that we get a jump on the federal government.
From now on, whenever you pass gas, drop a dollar into a piggy fart bank. Start saving up now for the inevitable and get used to the federal government’s newest war . . . the war on farts.