Okay, so maybe it’s not the actual transcript but I think it went something like this………..
G.W.B – Welcome to the White House Mr. President-Elect. Its a real pleasure and honor. We’re makin’ history here.
B.H.O – Thank you. Having gone through this yourself, I’m sure you understand the emotions that the times we’re in and that this occasion brings to me. So it goes without saying that I appreciate your gracious invitation and your earnest cooperation in the transition, Mr. President.
G.W.B. – Please call me George. You and I share a lot more in common now than ya think and we’re among a very small group. Only 42 others have gone on the path that you’re about to go on and that I’ve already taken. So call me George. Ya know, I have a habit of giving people nicknames. I usually just tag ‘em with the first snappy word that comes to mind ‘cause of some obvious characteristic they’ve got. I call this one really tall guy in the White House Press Corps Stretch.
Looking at you …….
B.H.O. – How ‘bout you call me Barry…..my good friends always have.
G.W.B. – Close enough……Sounds good to me …..So, Barry, where ya wanna begin? Got any initial nagging questions?
B.H.O. – Well Mr. Presi,…ahh…George, I would like your take on what you believe will be the first, most pressing, immediate and important challenge or development to confront me after I’ve taken the oath?
G.W.B. – We all know the economy is a priority.
B.H.O. – That’s an understatement George, how’d you let it get so out of hand?
G.W.B. – Ask your friends,…… Dodd took more money from the housing folk at Fannie and Freddie than anyone else and Barney Frank was getting’ it on with one of the guys running them and as the two boys chairin’ that committee overseein’ how Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were bein’ run, they decided to let ‘em off the hook……. Wouldn’t even look into their books. So that helped start the crisis. And so did Clinton’s homeownership initiatives. They forced Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and other loaners to hand out sub prime loans and overextend ‘emslevse to people they knew couldn’t afford to pay ‘em back. The bill had to come due soon. That all was just part of the problem, the part that tightened up the loaning market and started it all.
I shoulda’ seen it coming though, so I take the blame for not heading it off………
……But anyway, like I was sayin’ the economy is an obvious priority but it isn’t one that should allow you to lose focus on other stuff. You know what you wanna do so go to it. It’s your economy now. You won and your policies won the approval that gives you the right to try to put ‘em through. As for your biggest immediate challenge… Let me give you a little presidential history.
Before I came into office people were beginning to grumble, we were experiencing a mild recession as I came here to DC. So that became my priority. I focused attention on it to try an’ get support for tax cuts that we got enacted. I focused on cutting the amount of money that we taxed people so that they had the money to pump back into the economy and help prevent the recession from gettin’ rougher and lastin’ longer than it could have.
I also tried to move ahead quickly with my campaign promises…..faith based initiatives, no child left behind, ..things like that.
Then less than eight months into it, while sitting in a classroom with little kids, it all changed.
B.H.O. – I hear you George.
G.W.B. – You may hear me but you don’t understand, at least not yet Barry. But you will, in time you will.
B.H.O.- So your saying national security is my priority.
G.W.B. – What I am saying is as I sat their in that class room and Andy, my chief of staff, rushed in, leaned over and whispered in my ear that we were under attack, I felt fear and fury. The fear wasn’t for me but for the country. The fury was over the fact that this could happen. To make it worse, here I was….. sittin’ around with the most vulnerable and innocent among us, our children, our future.
With those kids faces lookin’ in my direction, that sense of anger and the fear for our people coincided with a quick feeling of failure.
I was the President that was responsible for our safety when this happened……Me!…..I was suppose to stop these things from happening to my people. I was in a Florida classroom, tryin’ to promote an education program that would improve the education of our kids, our children,….. and while doin’ this, their nation was directly attacked. Our own people were being slaughtered in their places of work.
Barry, …..at the moment,….. I took a direct punch to the gut and then an upper cut to the chin. I was reeling from the fact that this was happening and that, as President, for whatever reasons, I did not prevent it from happening.
B.H.O.- Mr. President, no one knew…..it was not your fault and no one ever claimed it was your fault.
G.W.B.- No they didn’t….well except for a few fanatics who claim I actually orchestrated the attacks. But you’re right, no one blamed me, but I blamed myself. I am the President and it was – is, my responsibility to defend us.
Logic lets me accept that, at the time, no one could’ve known the exact threat and how bad it could be. That’s logic. But even Presidents have feelin’s and although logic tells me one thing, my emotions still twist my guts with the fact that I was the President that unknowingly allowed this to happen. Every death on that day weighs on my heart like a cinder block.
It was then that I vowed not to allow any suspicion to go unchallenged. No matter how minor the threat may seem, I knew then that it couldn’t be ignored. I saw the internals. Clinton saw them and knew them too. Problem is both of us did not have the wherewithal and awareness to prioritize them properly. Who actually ever thought that some lunatic, camel riding, desert rat could be as big a threat as he proved to be.
B.H.O. – I understand Mr., eh, George….the sense of responsibility for all that happens must be all consuming. I’ve already begun to establish such a feeling myself,…knowing that it’ll all be up to me soon.
G.W.B. – Well you know, my father once wrote that the answer to doing it all, and carrying on is “Family, faith, friends, do your best, try your hardest, rely on your innate good sense, kindness and understanding of the American people”*. He claimed that is where a president gets his strength. After a few months in office myself, I realized old 41 was right on that one……you will too.
B.H.O. – I’ll certainly heed that advice……
G.W.B. – Good,…… but the answer to your question about what your first challenge, when you get sworn in ‘ill be………Well, it is not what you think.
The greatest challenge you’ll first face is the same great challenge that your entire presidency ‘ill face. It’s not what you know. It’s what you don’t know. It’s the surprises that our enemies thrive on and it’s the surprises that can derail all your plans. The greatest challenge that us Presidents face are the unknown events which we don’t plan for.
B.H.O. – So what do you suggest?
G.W.B. – Develop contingency plans……. Options for everything from your economic plan to your national security intentions. Have ‘em all planned and be prepared to roll ‘em out as soon as yesterday.
That and vigilance.
And don’t just hope for the best, help to insure the best. Leave no suspicion ignored and let no potential hazard linger or allow it the chance to come to fruition. Take out threats before they take us out.
B.H.O. – I hear what you’re saying George, but if I’m hearing you right you’re telling me to continue your aggressive policies. Andthe truth is that my campaign was based on the premise that your policies are wrong and they’re not my policies. I promised to be different and that’s what the people wanted.
G.W.B. – Lemme tell ya something, Barry,……….. You are going to be President, the highest office, the pinnacle of politics but ironically, once reaching that political pinnacle, politics has ta stop and the best policies have ta start. Politics won’t prevent the next attack. Politics wont make the poor rich.
Heck, I ran around the country telling everyone, in 2000, that I don’t want us in the business of nation building. And I didn’t want us doin’ that kind of stuff. I didn’ want us working on, or risking lives in, those countries with names I can’t even pronounce.
But look at me now.
I learn’d that by not involving’ ourselves an’ providing’ leadership where leadership is needed……bad things will come back to haunt ya. The wrong people ‘ill step in an’ try to provide that leadership. The type of leadership that led 19 terrorists to kill 3,000 Americans. So I may not have wanted to be doin’ what were doin’ but I learn’d quick , that we better do what we have to do or there’ll be consequences to suffer.
So what I’m telling you is this, all those promises you made,…….. well they were political and as President the leadership you must provide and the policies you gotta implement, trump politics and political promises that you made before you knew the real facts. As President you have to do what is right for the people not what you think is right to get elected. Being President is a heck of a lot different than bein’ a candidate. We all mean what we say but what we say isn’t always the means available to us.
This is it Barry,…. there’s no higher up to go than we are right now. You can’t be held back by what you thought,….. you gotta be driven by whatchya know. And as you begin to see all the classified NSR’s you’re gonna realize something. You’re gonna realize that my policies may not be aggressive enough and you’re gonna want to be even more aggressive than me.
B.H.O. – Look I intend to keep up our defenses and try to eliminate threats but I…….
G.W.B. – Barry, you’re gonna see things that’ll make you say, “why haven’t we stopped them over there” or “why have we let these guys do this or that”. Some of what you will discover will make you say” why didn’t George take care of this?” Then your Secretary of State will come in and tell you why we can’t do what seems so obvious. And your Secretary of Defense will show up and remind you that Russia is ready to surround Poland with missiles if we don’t agree to accept one thing or another or that Greece is once a’gin stirring up Macedonia and that Turkey will blow their feathers if we train troops in Kazakhstan how to shoot straight….Its endless and more twisted than Johnny Edwards relationship with that campaign girl he paid off while his wife was recouping from cancer…..twisted I tell ya…twisted.
So believe me, I use lots of restraint, so much so that its sickening at times. But we live in a delicate world and not everything is public knowledge. Believe me, you’re gonna wanna carry out military actions that ya think are obvious and easy but you’ll realize that. for other reasons,…….. we can’t. But you’ll wanna do ’em.
B.H.O. – I don’t think so George, I mean after all, I’m not a trigger happy kind of guy and besides…..we…. we’d have a lot more resources available to combat terrorism and fight that war with more success if we………..
G.W.B. – Look! Lemme tell you where we’re at!……………
Iran wants nukes. Israel wants to blow Iran into oblivion because of that…and they have the ability to do it.
That tension, and it’s possibility of happening, destabilizes our much needed, amiable, relationships between us and the Arab states with relatively moderate foreign policies. It also helps to destabilize our relationship with Russia who is in love with the Iranians and who are reverting back to their former Soviet ways and are agin’ encroaching on parts of Europe. It also helps to rattle an openly communist China who is in the midst of their own love affair with a psychotic, North Korean, nuclear wanting, government that is playing “Weekend With Bernie” by propping up it’s dead, maniacal, communist leader and pretending that he is running the show…………
….And don’t let me begin to tell ya about Pakistan and India. Both are armed to teeth, both hate each other and every other day they are ready to fire nukes at each other. Tryin’ to maintain a friendship with them is like a cat tryin to stop two dogs from eatin’ out of the same bowl………….
……..Then there are several, known, unaccounted for, weapons of mass destructions floating around out there……who knows where….because we sure as heck don’t……..
…….I also have three dozen known, terrorist networks, somewhere out there, with shoulder launching missiles and enough fertilizer to re-produce 50 Oklahoma City-like bombings.
We’ve got terrorists hijacking ship loads of tanks off of Somalia, arms dealers smuggling grenades out South America, missing caches of munitions from army bases, nukes missing from the Ukraine, and missing tanker trunks in Jersey!
Imagine that…….. a whole oil tanker…..missing in New Jersey!…..for over two years now!……… Ya’d think someone could find that!
All this, while at the same time, I have an open border that liberals don’t want disturbed by a physical barrier, as more than three thousand people, illegally, walk through, undetected, everyday, as if it were new York’s Central Park!……….
………And those wmd’s that you guys say did not exist,….well I have an undersecretary of defense, some guy named Shaw,…. who tells me that before Operation Iraqi Freedom hit the ground, Saddam shipped ‘em to Syria under the cover of humanitarian assistance after Syria got shook to high heaven by an earthquake! Imagine that….Saddam Hussien!……humanitarian assistance!…….. Yeah,… and my ma’s a Playboy bunny centerfold.
And tryin’ to get the truth out of Syria is like tryin’ to pull teeth from a shark that’s biting your arm off.
B.H.O. – Mr. President….George……That’s the problem. You’re leadership is based on fear and believing that the only way to not be full of fear is to be at war with anyone who thinks differently. My leadership is based on hope. It’s based in the faith in our ability to live without fear by eliminating the hatred that fear creates.
G.W.B. – Sounds great Barry, but your not delivering a speech to a crowd of your fans. You’re talking to me. You forget….I’ve been there and done that. You’re gonna be President and I am President….So here, between us, it’s straight talk and I don’t mean Johhny Mac’s straight talk….I mean real hard facts…….
My leadership is not based on fear, it’s based on security and trying to make sure that we don’t have to live in fear. Havin’ been blindsided once, I won’t let it happen agin’ and if it does, it won’t be because I didn’t make the right people do the right things to prevent it.
B.H.O. – So your advice is to increase our intelligence capabilities. continue your war in Iraq, and prepare for war in Iran and Russia?
G.W.B. – Don’t forget North Korea and the possibility of Syria……..
……….What I’m suggestin’ is that ya don’t let yourself think the world is safer than it is. As for Iraq…if ya go an’ pull out those troops before the Iraqis can do for themselves what we’re doin’ for ’em now….well than, you’re gonna be sending even more of our people back there. If you pull out before they’re ready to defend themselves you’ll be finding’ yourself at war with an Iran that is already trying to win the 10 year war with Iraq that they didn’t win before.
That’ll put you head to head to with Russia as well as China. That will cause the fragile house of cards that we live in to come crumbling’ down quicker than white on rice.
But hey…..you’re the man…..you’re the guy that got what ya wanted….the Presidency of the U. S. of A….
B.H.O. – Ok than……it’s clear to me what you think. But I gotta tell you, it’s sounds like the Presidency makes one real cynical …….at least its done so to you.
G.W.B. – Barry buddy, it’s not cynical….its realistic and that is the one place where politics does have a place in the presidency…………
Never let the people know how scared they should be of the dangers out there or all the stuff they’ve got ‘ta worry ‘bout. That’s our job. That’s what we’re here for……
………If the American people really knew what was going on, they’d take matters into their own hands. And you think I’m aggressive?……..If the average American knew who was aiming what at them, and what this one or that one was planning on doing to ‘em,….they’d make Dick Cheney look like Mr. Rogers………….
A’lright, nuff of that……now lemme show you the Kennedy pool. You’ll drop your jaw when I show ya the hidden sauna and playroom.
B.H.O. – I knew it! I knew there had to be some presidential society secrets to hear about.
G.W.B. – Are you kidding me…….you know those Nixon tapes?….Well wait till I show ya the Clinton tapes. He must’a accident’lly left a few behind. They’re videos and I can sure as heck tell ya’ that Monica’s blue dress wasn’t the only dress he soiled. By the way, those tapes,……… they’ll come in handy for ya’ if Hillary starts getting pushy again.
B.H.O. – Now were talkin’ the shi’…eh em….. I mean the dirt I was lookin‘ forward to…………………………………..
Over the past eight years Bush has provided us with endless amusement. As a result of his faux pas or ‘Bushisms’ as they’ve been dubbed. Here are twenty favorites.
“Those who enter the country illegally violate the law.” – Nov. 28, 2005
“We don’t believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans.” – Sept. 6, 2000
“If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.” – Dec. 19, 2000
“Well, I think if you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, that’s trustworthiness.” – Aug. 30, 2000
“I think we agree, the past is over.” – May 10, 2000
“I understand small business growth. I was one.” – Feb. 19, 2000
“This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” – April 23, 2002
“I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I’m going to be the president of everybody.” – Jan. 18, 2001
“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” – Jan. 3, 2000
“I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will.” – Oct. 5, 2002
“I just want you to know that when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.” – June 18, 2002
“I’m honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.” – May 25, 2004
“I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society.” – Aug. 13, 2002
“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.” – Sept. 17, 2002
“The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off.” – Oct. 8, 2004
“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” – Sept. 29, 2000
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” – Aug. 5, 2004
“Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” – Jan. 11, 2000
“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” – Jan. 27, 2000
“They misunderestimated me.” – Nov. 6, 2000